There is an I in Independence

After a few fun ones, may be time for a thinking post…

I have always said that I can do absolutely anything on my own, and I continue to believe that. Any obstacle or event that comes my way I will try to perform with grace and dignity without the need of help from others. I have spent this week in Eldoret without anyone else. Both Lauren and Jessica returned to Kisumu to continue our work, but I had to stay here in order to get the research portion of my CE (culminating experience aka mini-thesis for school) finished. This week, although will not prove to be very useful since my proposal has yet to be approved by the university here, but this week has been important in other ways. I wake up each morning to an empty house and have to figure out ways to fill the day. Yes I have made friends here in Eldoret, but like most people they have either school or work to do to fill the day hours.

I have told some people my anxiety about entering places by myself. If you know me you know I really don’t get too nervous or awkward about much, but it’s always that first initial walk through the door that always gets me. Once I’m in, I’m fine. Being in this town, pretty much on my own, is teaching me to get over this feeling and solidify my independence even more. I will never give up time spent with others – too much of a social butterfly for that one :) - but experiencing some things on your own makes you learn and grow monumentally more than if you were with someone else. Sometimes it is good to walk into an unknown place without the security of a friend by your side. It may be scary, but it will also be more rewarding in the end. I write this post in a bar/restaurant/hotel place that offers wireless internet. Instead of taking a motorbike – although my favorite form of transportation here – I walked. I obviously went down the wrong road as I’m known to do, so I had to turn around and retrace my steps to the correct road and walk in. I find myself in this place now, without others, free to do what I want. Although, it may be boring at times, I must reflect that I am currently sitting on my computer in Kenya, writing about my experiences and the new truths that I have come to accept and love. I have just over one week left here, and daily I fight back and forth between excitement and sadness. One minute I am sooo excited to see everyone I have missed for almost four months now, but then another second goes by and I remember that I may never be able to get back to this place, or at least not any time soon. I won’t go too much into all of this for it is best for a post during my last week, but I just wanted to write about the independence felt by an individual who is used to always being with others she knows and loves. Now living here this week by myself is no incredible feat, but just an example of many other things that I have been able to do here without the assistance of another person. I want to dare each and every one of you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, something way beyond the circle you are used to, and something that you can reflect back upon, one week, one month, and many years from now and say, “I did that.”